Just when you were reconciling to a monotonous lacklustre life and wondering "Is this what middle age is all about?" a new colleague joins your office who is just about the same age as you and ? what a surprise ? totally complements your personality. He or she even makes you laugh! Soon, sparks are flying. You have an adrenaline rush and a spring in your step. You find that before long you are involved in a new romantic relationship as the missing excitement and jest return to your life.
There is only one problem though ? you have a spouse and a couple of school-going children who depend on you for survival. This is a moment when your entire family life hangs in balance. Which way to go? Extramarital affairs are getting common today. Never before in history has our lifestyle been so geared up to tempt married couples to enter into new romantic interests outside of their relationship. We are meeting people of opposite sex every day in office, neighbourhood, sports clubs and so on.
An individual's social circle has never been bigger. Modern office work requires a lot of travelling with colleagues to distant places to attend meetings with clients. Corporate strategy sessions are conducted in resorts in exotic locations where the staff mingle with each other freely. It is easy to strike up extramarital affairs in such situations.
Once you are involved in a relationship outside marriage, modern telecom devices such as mobile phones, email and Internet chatting sessions ensure that it is easy to keep in touch with each other without anyone getting to know about it. So what should your decision be ? break your family or break your heart? This is a question which is going to drastically change your lifestyle as well as that of your family members. Divorce is something not to be taken casually.
When partners split for ever, children end up being the real victims. For their healthy growth, they need love, affection, tenderness and encouragement from their parents. Their whole existence centres on family and home. Children revel in the security and comfort the home provides and they are reassured from the presence of their parents about their own safety. When the family breaks up, it shatters their comfortable little nest.
They become insecure and terrified of their future. Separation of parents is a psychological blow to them. The most damage to their psyche is done by the pre-divorce arguments and stress that usually occur between the partners. After divorce, children are assigned to live with a single parent by the court, usually the mother. If the kids were more attached to the father, their emotional problems are worsened.
Many children of divorce start lagging behind in studies. Because of all the anxiety and panic, they are unable to concentrate on their studies. Quite a few start taking drugs, slip into petty crime or get involved in local gangs. Divorced mothers who do not have an earning potential slip into poverty as they find that the maintenance they get is not sufficient to take care of the children's education. Is it a wonder that most children of divorce are deeply scarred by the experience? They lose trust in human relationships. When they mature, they find it difficult to establish close bonds with others or establish a social circle.
Extramarital affairs are often the result of infatuation. When you get married, the early years are full of happiness and charm. Both of you are unwilling to find faults with each other.
After some time though, usually after seven years, you start getting bored seeing the same face again and again. You look for change and some excitement in life. That is when the "seven year itch" strikes and you acquire a roving eye that looks for an extramarital relationship. If you file for divorce to pursue your out-of marriage romantic interest, you may find after a couple of years that it was nothing but mere infatuation which you have now got over with.
You may miss your earlier family but the damage has been done. Your spouse may have married someone else and begun a new family. Deciding to go for divorce is a very weighty decision with grave implications for you and your family. It should never be taken on an impulse, least of all, a short fling with another individual. Your family is a unique and precious resource.
Once broken, it can never be put back into original shape. You should carefully consider all factors such as the strength of your passion for your new love as well as the interests of your existing partner and children before walking out of your family.
James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you want to find out more about a solicitor managed divorce see http://www.managed-divorce.co.uk